5. "Friday? The gynecologist left on vacation on Monday!"

4. "If you like that, you should see what happens when I have a salami!"

3. "So the deer says to the squirrel, 'Wait, you can't drive either?'"

2. "No, but if you keep doing that, my goiter won't be much of a problem anymore."

And the number one punchline to an unfunny joke I made up is...

1. "As the pastor pulled up his pants, the old lady whispered to me, 'It goes in reverse too?'"

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